Author: Gemma Correll

Just like Grandma used to make

Or, food porn, if you want to be crass about it

For those who get their life advice from novelty T-shirts.

Avoid them at all costs. You have been warned.

Make your life a tiny bit easier by donning one of these exciting futuristic gadgets

You should probably avoid these fancy coffee beans. You don’t know where they’ve been.

A twenty-first century freakshow

It’s not easy being green (or purple, or yellow, or that weird brownish kind of kiwi color)

Find them on the “Reduced to Clear” shelf next to the Justin Bieber perfumes.

(Not forgetting, of course, the Segway of Dingbats)